08 Jan 2009 @ 9:07 PM 

This is the News Roundup (II), where I report the happenings in Malaysia and around the world while having my tongue firmly in cheek.

Gaza: Malaysia gives ultimatum

The Star Online reports that Malaysia has given the United Nations Security Council a one-day “deadline” to come up with a resolution on Israel’s aggression against Palestine, or else.

When asked the question, “Or else what?”, Malaysia simply responded, “or else we don’t friend you.”

Election goodies announced

The Malaysian Insider reports that the Terengganu government will provide a RM1 million fund for bus companies operating in the state to buy new vehicles to facilitate more comfortable public transportation.  The Menteri Besar, Datuk Ahmad Said announced the good news in front of 2,500 imams and bilals from 483 Terengganu mosques who attended the event.  They were also promised an allowance of RM650 monthly by the state.

Imams from other states responded swiftly by changing this Friday’s sermon to, “Let’s all pray our elected MP dies so that we can get goodies too.”

Chinese votes crucial

Malaysiakini reports in an article about Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah’s visit to Kuala Terengganu that the Chinese in Kuala Terengganu may decide the outcome of the by-election currently being held there.  The 8,000+ Chinese voters are said to be the “kingmakers” in this contest and a lot of resources are being spent to canvass for their votes.

The report however failed to state the importance of the votes from other races in Malaysia such as the orcs, elves and the dwarves.

The lain-lain races of Malaysia

The lain-lain races of Malaysia

Don’t buy US goods

NST online reports that a campaign to boycott American made products has been launched today by the Malaysian Muslim Consumers Association, along with Muslim restaurateurs and several Muslim non-governmental organisations.  MMCA secretary general Datuk Dr Ma’amor Osman urged Malaysians, including non-Muslims, to support the campaign by renouncing brands such as Coca-Cola, McDonalds and Nike.

He added that Malaysians should instead turn to other local alternatives such as

Coca CoLah

Malaysian soft drink, Coca-Colah

Malaysian soft drink, Coca-CoLah

McDollah’s

Malaysian fast food, McDollah's

Malaysian fast food, McDollah's

and the famous local sports brand,

Buatan Malaysia

Malaysian sports brand, Buatan Malaysia

Malaysian sports brand, Buatan Malaysia

with its tag-line, Boleh sahaja!

Fortune tellers nabbed

Two fortune tellers from China were caught by Kota Kinabalu police after being found connected to 13 cheating cases in Sabah involving nearly RM145,000 in cash and jewelry.

In a statement after the arrest, they claimed that they knew 2 days before the police were coming after them, just that they decided not to believe themselves.

Internet links restored

Internet restored

Internet restored

Bernama reports that Telekom Malaysia has restored all internet links between Malaysia and Europe to 100% capacity on Monday.

A spokesperson from Telekom Malaysia said, that the outage was due to the death of 2 hamsters powering the TMNet servers.

Michael Jackson to need a new lung

The Gloved One

The Gloved One

Defamer.com reports that pop star Michel Jackson might be needing a lung transplant due to a rare genetic disease which causes the said organ to fail.

While shopping for a new lung, Michael was also spotted to be looking for new gloves, a new nose and a right ear.  Fabulous hair, though.

That’s it for the 2nd News Roundup, until next time, have a great week.

Posted By: Kelvin
Last Edit: 17 Jan 2009 @ 06:29 PM

EmailPermalink
Tags
Categories: Jokes, Politics


 

Responses to this post » (None)

 
Post a Comment

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Please note: Comment moderation is enabled and may delay your comment. There is no need to resubmit your comment.


 Last 50 Posts
 Back
 Back
Change Theme...
  • Users » 3
  • Posts/Pages » 73
  • Comments » 6
Change Theme...
  • VoidVoid
  • LifeLife « Default
  • EarthEarth
  • WindWind
  • WaterWater
  • FireFire
  • LightLight