11 Jan 2009 @ 9:14 PM 

This is the News Roundup (III),  where I report the happenings in Malaysia and around the world while having my tongue firmly in cheek.

Dr. M: Quit your jobs

No Mcdonald's (devonwoodestates.org pix)

No Mcdonald's (devonwoodestates.org pix)

In a Malaysiakini report, ex-prime minister, Dr. Mahathir said Malaysians “will not die if they do not use the US goods” and urged those working for US companies such as fast-food giant McDonald’s and Starbucks to quit their jobs.

However, he conveniently forgot to mention the human’s tendency to die when left without money to buy food.

Landslide in Sandakan, 434 dead

In the wake of the Bukit Antarabangsa tragedy, another landslide occured in Sandakan yesterday, reported Bernama.  Only this time, it hit a cemetery.  The affected cemetery is the Kampung Sim-Sim Muslim cemetery and the Public Works Department is trying to identify the cause of the landslide which damaged 434 graves.

Comparing this incident with the Bukit Antarabangsa landslide, a spokesman for the Works Department said, “At least that time, there were actually survivors.”

Inspiring slogans in by-election

BN billboard (Malaysiakini.com pix)

BN billboard (Malaysiakini.com pix)

In another Malaysiakini report, the by-election in Kuala Terengganu has escalated into a war of quotes.  The BN campaign went all out in peppering the constituent with posters and billboards borrowing quotes from US presidential campaigns.  Most specifically from the Lincoln administration’s motto, “Of the people, by the people, for the people” and the recent Obama’s campaign, “One wish, one Malaysia, Yes we can”.

The campaign team however left out quotes from the Bush administration, such as, “I’m the decider, and I decide what is best.” or one for Najib by the Clinton administration, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”

Irony caught up with pirates

(maj1970 pix from Webshots.com)

(maj1970 pix from Webshots.com)

The AFP reports that six Somalian pirates drowned while getting away with a boat loaded with ransom money off the East African coast.  The pirates were believed to be involved in the attack and kidnapping of a Sirius Star ship.

This will serve as a reminder to everyone, that if you plan to swashbuckle your way into a life of pillaging and rum on the high seas… it would be a good idea to first learn to SWIM.

China: Rail technology not stolen

The Associated Press reports that China denied exporting rail technology that was stolen from the West.  The China’s Railway Ministry spokesman, Wang Yongping defended the industry and stated that the technologies used were homegrown.

We tried to push for more details but apparently his Orange iPhony battery died.

That was yet again another edition of News Roundup.  Have a great week!

Posted By: Kelvin
Last Edit: 12 Jan 2009 @ 01:39 PM

Categories: Jokes, Politics


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