18 Jan 2009 @ 10:15 PM 

It’s time for the 5th Edition of News Roundup, where I report the happenings in Malaysia and around the world while having my tongue firmly in cheek.

Wan Farid: It’s not my money

Malaysiakini reports that the Kuala Terengganu BN candidate Wan Ahmad Farid Wan Salleh denied he had anything to do with the money given away to journalists at the Kuala Terengganu parliamentary by-election media centre recently.  Journalists were puzzled after being given an envelope filled with RM300 at the state information department’s media centre after providing their contact information.

Information minister’s press secretary Hisham Abdul Hamid said the ministry had never directed any of its officers to do such a thing.

“This has never been the practice of the ministry,” he told Bernama.

He later added, “We wouldn’t give money to you without first telling you who to vote for.”

Anwar: Another round of defections (hint hint)

In another Malaysiakini report, PKR de facto leader Anwar Ibrahim again raised the possibility of Barisan Nasional MPs defecting to the Pakatan Rakyat coalition.  After the much publicised takeover plan of Sept 16, 2008 failed to materialize, he was again unwilling to comment after being pressed for details.

This just in, there is now a fixed date.  It’s Feb 30, 200-imaginary.

Pak Lah: “Buy-lah Malaysian”

The Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi said yesterday the people should cast aside any prejudice against Malaysian-made products, reports NST.  He added that the local producers require the support of consumers as well and urged the people to give local products a go.

He was later found to be a fervent supporter of the recently announced Malaysian soft-drink, Coca-CoLah Kosong.

Also known as Coke kurang manis

Also known as Coke kurang manis

Looking for ways to make EPF savings last a lifetime

The Human Resources Ministry is looking for ways to ensure that employees from the private sector will have their Employees Provident Fund (EPF) savings last a lifetime.  This was due to reports of EPF contributors using up all their savings within 2 years after retirement and were left without a source of income.

In an unrelated development, the ministry will be tabling a new law to sentence anyone found to be above the age of 60, to death.

By-election side note

So another typical by-election in Malaysia has come and gone.  Pretty good showing from both sides with typical controversies, mud-slinging and smear campaigns.  It was a great by-election for the Kuala Terengganu people, not so great for half of them, but still great all-around.  Personally, it was quite fun trying out writing political satire and the best material always comes from elections.  So keep ‘em dying, and I’ll keep on writing.

Remember that politicians are like dirty diapers, you have to keep changing them.  See you in the next edition of News Roundup.

Posted By: Kelvin
Last Edit: 18 Jan 2009 @ 10:15 PM

Categories: Jokes, Politics


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