02 Feb 2009 @ 8:27 PM 

All systems go for peanut butter testing

Malaysiakini reports that Malaysia is testing all American peanut butter products before allowing them into the country following a salmonella scare recently.  The Health Minister said officials have raised the alert to level five at all ports and are focusing only on peanut butter.  The level five alert means all resources will be dedicated to ensuring peanut butter from the United States are tested before entering the country.

Drug smugglers rejoice while peanut butter addicts have to contend with finger-sized holes in their peanut butter.

Book on ministers’ contributions

Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi recently launched a book titled Malaysian Ministers 1955-2008 by Koperasi Belia Nasional Berhad.  This book depicts in detail the contributions of a total of 117 politicians who served as Cabinet ministers from 1955 to January last year, and many have played an integral role in formulating the country’s policies, realising ideas and dreams, as well as in nation building.

He hopes that the book would serve as guidance to future leaders on how best to serve the people by emulating the contribution and sacrifices made by their predecessors.

This would be a seemingly uphill task, considering the book is also in the running for, “World’s thinnest book ever” title.

The book's spine

The book's spine

Survey: Malaysian employees feel secure of jobs

A recent survey by an unnamed consultant claimed that Malaysian employees feel more secure about their prospects compared to their counterparts in other Asian countries.  The survey was revealed after a wave of jobcuts announced recently which affected more than 80,000 people in the United States alone.

This just in, the consultant was Semuany OK Co. Ltd and the survey was done by the Foundation of Independent Research on Employees’ Desires, or F.I.R.E.D.

Thieves strike Daim’s house, stole shoes

Thieves evaded security guards and guard dogs on Sunday to break into the home of the former Finance Minister’s house and stole 3 pairs of shoes.  The police are apparently taking the case seriously and are in the process of determining the kind of shoes that were stolen.

Rumours are rife that this was yet another crime committed by the group calling themselves, “The Low Self Esteem Bandits”.

Perak defection fiasco

I bet most of you know about the recent drama on defections affecting the Perak state government.  For the minority of you who didn’t know, here’s the gist of it.  “Don’t fucking give a damn!”  Pardon my French.  There are so much more to worry about now then petty squabbles between parties.  Hoi, state assemblymen/women, do your fucking job that you were given.

This is not the time to consider switching allegiances and financing your next mansion.  To that Bota man who switched to PKR, please, return to BN or resign.  It is unfair for the BN voters (however wrong they were).  The people have given you the mandate to work for them under the ideology of BN and you have no right to go to another party without first relinquishing your mandate.

To those 2 who are thinking of going to BN and feigning sickness or whatever, if you were set up into resigning your posts as claimed, just come out and put an end to all this.  If you intend to resign, just go ahead and be done with it.  I’m glad for another round of by-election goodies.  We could do with an economic stimulus package by-election style.

Finally, to all the politicians, if you don’t stop all this nonsense, we won’t just be comparing ourselves to Zimbabwe anymore, we will become Zimbabwe (everyone can then be billionaires).

Posted By: Kelvin
Last Edit: 02 Feb 2009 @ 08:27 PM

Categories: Jokes, Politics


Responses to this post » (None)

Post a Comment

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Please note: Comment moderation is enabled and may delay your comment. There is no need to resubmit your comment.

 Last 50 Posts
Change Theme...
  • Users » 3
  • Posts/Pages » 73
  • Comments » 6
Change Theme...
  • VoidVoid
  • LifeLife « Default
  • EarthEarth
  • WindWind
  • WaterWater
  • FireFire
  • LightLight