However, as I run out of stuff to show, this review series will end on part II. If you have been reading the 1st part, I said that it would be a trilogy of sorts. Well, it is… sort of. A trilogy in 2 parts. You can break it up into 3 yourself if you want to. I don’t care. Now, that’s an activity for you courtesy of Kelvin-Lew.com.

Shiny black thing

"He ain't heavy, he's my brother"

Kickin’ this review off is a picture of where I keep the Playstations. The now neglected PS2 is right up there. “Rest well my faithful one. You’ve been through enough.”

The main star is of course the fat one below. I sorta like how Sony could make it attract fingerprints and dust so well. Way to go, Sony! Now I can go on and do some dusting and cleaning instead of sitting on my ass all day gaming. Again I’m not gonna list out in detail what it can do, but I’ll let the pictures do the talking and just pick out some cool stuff to say and throw in a lame joke or two.

The Space Invaders lost sight of the player's craft

After powering it up, I’m greeted by a soothing melody after a loud beep. Then up pops the screen shown above. The background is some wavy thingie and the colour changes according to the time of the day and month. Sorta like a female, I guess. The interface is christened “Xross Media Bar” by some crazy Japanese dudes, or XMB for short. It is quite simple and elegant but rather tedious if you tend to have lotsa media. You’ll tend to see more of this in newer Sony TVs and phones.

The main purpose of the PS3 is of course to play games. But since the games available now are drier than my grandma’s ***sy, I’ll show you what else it can do.

Piccies, Pix, Pics

Taking a picture of a picture

As Sony seems to market this one hell of a paperweight as a media device, it must of course be able to show boring ol’ vacation pictures to your friends. And it does it well too. The above picture is one type of slideshow where your pictures are shown “thrown” onto the table and some other crazy stuff like that to show off how the 7 processors in the machine could render physics and lighting etc instead of doing something useful like say cure cancer. Oh wait, it can.

Longitudinal waves between 20Hz-20kHz

"I can't think of any more witty captions, why don't YOU do it, you funny man"

Moving on to music. It does it pretty well if I can say so myself. Only lacking playlist support but might be fixed later. Lucky I have only a handful of music. Nothing special to talk about here. Your PC might do a better job here. After pressing the “x” button, you’ll then be brought “flying through a canyon” while listening to Paris Hilton (whereby you might as well jump off a canyon) as seen below. One of the many seizure-inducing “visualizations”.

Wheeeeeee!

Moving images with sound

"Geeky cartoon-1, Wavy thingie-0"

On to videos/movies. The PS3 has a built in BluRay drive which can read almost any optical disc format since the beginning of time (except for Microsoft’s HD-DVD). So movies and other moving images are not a problem for this beast. A nice feature is the icon where you are shown a preview of the movie it entails. You can’t see it moving in the picture above because err, it’s not moving? Think “Live Preview” in Vista.

Here’s a video on an upcoming game. Yes, it’s a “game”.

The new Audi just came back from the dentist

The other stuff etc

Mr. Smiley was green with envy of Mr. Squarehead

There’s a friends list feature where you can chat/talk/bug/harass others who own a PS3 as well. I have only 1 friend. I know, I AM THAT SAD.

If I'm gonna take over the world, I'm gonna do it with a sparkle

Can't get enough of me

There’s also a handy albeit slow browser for those who just can’t have enough of Internet Porn Youtube.

Now let’s move on and see what the PS3′s slimmer and more popular cousin can do.

The little black thing

My screen is bigger than your screen

This nifty little piece of gadget is the Playstation Portable. It’s like a Playstation 2 in your pocket and more. You can play games with it, surf the web with it, listen to music with it and make love to it watch videos on it. That’s all nice and dandy but “Meh” I hear you say, so let me show you something cool called “Remote Play”.

This is the default PSP screen. Notice the blue screen and the simple wavy thingie.

"It's not a blue movie, mom"

With a wave of the magic Sony wand, and a chant of “Geekaroonie”, Playstation 3 on your PSP!

Man in the mirror

It's tough trying not to take my own picture

It’s somewhat useless if you are in the same room as your PS3 but you can actually access your media on your PS3 anywhere in the world with your PSP as long as your PS3 is online. A sample of it playing music and a crappy picture of it playing a movie is shown below.

Bad reception

The nearest I could ever get to owning a Ferrari

That pretty much wraps up my foray into the reviewing world. From the looks of it, it might be my last. But I’m currently playing around with a prototype phone from Nokia. Still under wraps but once it’s on the market, a review is inevitable (maybe not).

I’ve not decided yet on how many parts this will be but I’m aiming for three, a trilogy if you may. Who knows, it might even be a triview of epic proportions. Or if there is more to add, it might even be a “trilogy in more than 3 parts”. First and foremost, a picture of the whole shebang.

If only my taste in curtains were as good as my taste in electronics

Since most of my readers (all 3 of them) might not give a damn about the technical stuff in this review, I’ll have lots of pictures and explain it in layman’s terms or street talk or whatever they call it these days to show what’s so cool about spending a small fortune. First up is the centre of attention, the big ass TV.

The thingie that has moving pictures

"Always walk away from the light at the end of the tunnel"

“A TV is like your penis, it’s always never big enough.” Applies to boobs as well I guess. But hey 40″ is big enough for a TV (40″ is a tad too much a measurement for a penis, but boobs maybe, whatever floats your boat). First and foremost, the said TV is a Samsung LCD TV, model LE-40M86BD Euro version. It cost me nearly 1.6 big ones in those fancy European currency. I won’t go into anymore details as I’ll just bore you to death and I’m just that lazy.

Anyway, the picture is sweet, the colours are true to life and porn has never been better watching National Geographic is like being there. But of course, it all boils down to the source material. If you have some bootleg, out-of-focus, recorded-by-a-Parkinson’s-sufferer-in-a-cinema kind of movie material, it’ll never help. But with high definition material like Blu-Ray movies, you can tell if Bond needs to book an appointment with his beautician to remove all those black heads.

There are of course some bad points with this TV. The sound is shitty. It’s sufficient for normal news viewing but for movies, I need to pipe the sound through my surround system (more on that soon hopefully). Besides, there is this annoying thing of having to press numerous times on the remote to change between inputs. Couch time is sacred to a Malaysian you hardworking Koreans!

Being just 2 arm-lengths away from the TV, I AM THAT LAZY

The Ass Protector

The comfort zone

Being able to watch movies and game for insanely inhuman long periods of time calls for the highest degree of safety and comfort to one’s posterior. Therefore, a suitable “Posterior Comfort and Protection Unit” is of utmost importance. “This unit fits itself snugly to your behind, producing a natural form that caresses and enhances beauty of your posterior, while providing the best comfort to the user and style to the modern living room”, at least that’s what my neighbour said to me when I got it from him before he decided to throw it away.

The Collection

"Guarantee clear boss, no cinema copy one"

With all those hardware, one must have the software to match. Like the saying goes, “a chain is only as strong as its weakest link” or something like that. It’s like having a wife with the body of Angelina Jolie who doesn’t know the difference between a dimple and a nipple, you’ll just get to have very hot sex but fall asleep after that because of boredom. Wait, that didn’t turn out right, but you get the drift.

The Sound of Music

Useless Daily Trivia: Speakers are the opposite of microphones

Nothing much to talk about this faithful device here. It’s been 2 years since I got it and still works like new. Only managed to get the main part in the picture as it makes little sense to photograph 5 similar speakers, just use your imagination or print the picture out 5 times.

That grey thingamajig with an antenna is a wireless device to connect my Playstation 3 to Internet (more on that in the next review).

That’s all for the first installment of my humble review. Hope it brought you some laughs and envy. Next up, the heart of all this, my Sony Playstation 3 and its bastard son, the Playstation Portable. Before I go, I leave you with a behind the scenes picture of the making of this review.

Will they ever come out with wireless electricity?